“Practicing mindfulness helps us to appreciate the wellbeing that is already there.”


—Thich Nhat Hanh

A classic story in Zen Buddhism is about a man riding a galloping horse, apparently in a rush to get somewhere significant. When asked where he is going, the man replies “I don’t know. Ask the horse!” The horse symbolizes habit energy, the part of all of us that underlies why we do the things we do when we are lacking mindfulness.

Modern neuroscience suggests that our habit energy is rooted in a negativity bias. Our brains are wired to focus on what’s wrong rather than on all that’s good in our lives. This wiring evolved to keep us aware of danger and out of harm’s way. But now, without predators to run to or suspicious berries to avoid, this negativity bias makes us more susceptible to an overwhelming input of negative data and beliefs.

SAY THANKS

Gratitude practices help to re-wire our brains toward all that is good in our world. And they work! Research has shown that gratitude practices:

• Improve physical health
• Benefit mental health
• Improve sleep
• Increase self-esteem
• Boost empathy and social connectivity 

Here are a few of our favorite gratitude practices—perfect for Thanksgiving and the holiday season.

METTA BHAVANA: LOVING KINDNESS MEDITATION

Loving-kindness, or metta, is a foundation of many Buddhist practices. This kind of love is unconditional, independent of how much someone (including yourself) deserves your positive regard. The practice cultivates mindfulness, compassion and gratitude—a softening of the heart and opening of the mind—impacting your feelings toward yourself and others.

HOW TO PRACTICE

To begin, find a comfortable seat, or lie peacefully on your back. Take the time it takes to find comfort and ease in your posture. Begin by breathing gently and watching your thoughts come and go like ocean waves.

It’s impossible to truly love another without loving yourself, so metta begins with self-love. Repeat the following phrases (or a variation that speaks to you) in your head and heart, beginning by directing your love, gratitude, and compassion toward yourself:

May I be happy. 
May I be well. 
May I be safe. 
May I be peaceful and at ease.

Repeat these phrases over and over, noticing feelings ebb and flow in your body. If you are having difficulty feeling self-love, meditation teacher Jack Kornfield suggests that you can picture yourself as a “young and beloved child.” When you begin to feel loving kindness toward yourself, you can begin to consider a close friend or family member and repeat the phrases again, directing your attention toward this person.

May you be happy. 
May you be well. 
May you be safe. 
May you be peaceful and at ease.

Take the time to sense yourself softening and opening, allowing these phrases to repeat again and again. Allow yourself to consider a wider and wider circle of people in your life who have cared for you, including strangers and acquaintences.

When you are ready, consider a person in your life with whom you have difficulty. Direct your loving kindness toward this person.

May you be happy. 
May you be well. 
May you be safe. 
May you be peaceful and at ease.

Notice if you experience tension or ease directing loving kindness toward this person who challenges you. As you are ready, you can expand this circle of gratitude and compassion to include all beings everywhere.

May all beings everywhere be happy. 
May all beings everywhere be well. 
May all beings everywhere be safe. 
May all beings everywhere be peaceful and at ease.

As you experience this loving-kindness meditation, be gentle with yourself, watching waves of emotions pass through you. See if you can be with the uncomfortable emotions alongside the positive emotions, witnessing your emotional spectrum without judgement.

GRATITUDE JOURNAL

Robert Emmons—editor-in-chief of the The Journal of Positive Psychology and professor of psychology at UC Davis—explores gratitude practices and research in his books Thanks!: How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier and The Little Book of Gratitude. Cultivating grateful thinking by writing in a gratitude journal boosts happiness, and increases feelings of well-being and life satisfaction.

HOW TO PRACTICE

Begin your gratitude journal by taking 1-5 minutes to write down what you are grateful for in your life. Pair your morning coffee with your gratitude practice, or settle into bed with your journal and use this practice as a way to reflect on your day—you may improve your sleep and create peaceful, easy dreams!

A Supplement To Explore: Deep Wave Sleep

THANK-YOU NOTES

Thank-you notes are a way of expressing gratitude to people in your life for all that they give—love, a compassionate ear, beauty, joy, peace, and material or monetary generosity. For as long as I can remember, I have been writing snail mail thank-you notes to people who have given me gifts. My grandmother started this tradition and each generation that has followed in my large family has adopted this practice. Over time, this practice has expanded to include non-material gifts. The action of receiving a card in the mail in today’s digital era is supremely gratifying. Requiring a little more effort than a quick click of a button, snail mail thank-you notes demonstrate a willingness to slow down and take the time to express gratitude.

HOW TO PRACTICE

Practice writing thank-you notes for no particular reason. Begin by considering 1-5 people in your life. Find a beautiful card that brings you joy and write a note of gratitude to your person (or people). Get a stamp, place it in the mail, and send it off!

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash